if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
