I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
