two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
