Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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