Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
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