Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
