she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
