i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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