definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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