I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
