What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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