"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
