Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
