I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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