Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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