One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
