Screwed.edu
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Ketchup is God's man juice
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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