She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
