Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
