he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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