i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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