Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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