you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
