i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
