now i know why i became what i already was.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
