We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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