I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
They have beer where we have blood.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
