Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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