i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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