But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I stole a fireplace last night.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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