well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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