That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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