I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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