Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
