I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm sobbing to NWA
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