My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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