In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
