i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
