Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
