Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
