apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
