My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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