Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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