Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm eating all of the evidence.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
