Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
