The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
