my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
