I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
