I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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