i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
